Managing Stress

Managing Stress
Anxious and worry are uncomfortable feelings that anyone can have. However, some people can have tawakal (total reliance on Allah at all the times) he is closer to Allah and keeps his heart from feeling su’udzan ( negative suspicions ) of Allah or someone else. While some people really suffer from this, every time they blame the environment, other people, and even Allah. Na’udzubillah min dzaalik (We seek refuge in Allah from that)!

Stress can prevent people from talking any pleasure in Allah’s blessing around him. Delicious food can’t be tasted. A large and luxurious house can’t be enjoyed. His super expensive car, always ready to take him to anywhere he likes, can’t make his heart happy either. Even the prestigious position can’t hide his anxious heart.
Stress is related with physical condition, while something related with psychology is named depression. Both are caused by many factors such as the following.

a. Family
The family could be the source of stress when it can’t provide a conducive environment. A broken family, for example, whether it is due to parent separation or a clash between parents and their children, can cause stress. Bad behavior of parents such as having another “special person,” being unjust among the children, cheating, or cruelty to others, are other sources of stress children’s bad behaviors also can cause stress, for example by consuming drugs, rebelling against their parents, or by breaking the law.
Stress from the family environment can also be from the husband-wife relationship. A wife feels terrible whenever she sees her change to be offensive, selfish, or egoist. On other hand, a husband concerned about his wife’s bad behavior of being wasteful, speaking impolite or spiteful.
This atmosphere of stress in a family can potentially be caused by people outside of the main family, such as parents in law, a daughter/son in law, sister/brother in law, nephew/ niece, or other family member.
b. Interpersonal Relationship

Inter Personal relationship can also be a source of stress. Someone we love ,usually, interest our heart .But when this relationship is broken because our beloved decides to separate our marry another person, stress comes. On the other hand, someone feels disappoint because he can’t get his lover’s love. Stress can happen when so many people love us, but we love none of them. These all, potentially, lead to anxiety, worry, and fear in our future.

c. Occupation

Employees, especially company executives, often experience stress. Work and career are potential stress factors. For example, when responsibilities are not equal to salaries. Someone else blocks their career or their reputation is broken down because of simple problems, rewards and punishment, career, downsizing, or having a loss, can cause stress too. On the other hand, people hoping for job who stay unemployed sooner or later will have stress too. People who lose their jobs also can have stress.
So, it is dilemma that people with occupations have stress, while employment also have stress.

d. Neighbors
The closest people in our living environment are our neighbors. A nice and friendly neighbor can lead to peacefulness .But if our neighbor is a violent person, he can cause stress, for sure.
e. Legal Problems

People in trouble with law will have stress. Police, courts, and prisons, are frightening things because they can take away their freedom and damage the their own name and the family’s reputation. They also can love their jobs because legal trouble.

f. Physical Condition

Tense situation and feeling anxious could from physical changes or development of our body. A child developing to be a teenager may have stress when he sees his physical changes. A woman getting old feels afraid because of her wrinkled skin, she panics upon entering menopause. Illness or physical defect can be the source of stress, too. Someone with physical defect may feel pain, or try hard to keep his physical defect out of sight. An ill wife feel afraid of loosing her husband because she is not able to serve her husband anymore. On the other side, a sick husband afraid of loosing his job , which become a family problems.
Stress and more stress when will we be happy? Can’t we get out thing suffering? Traffic jams, stress. Not enough money, stress. The terrifying news in newspaper or on TV makes us stressed. We get depressed and could die because of it. Do we want to die from stress? Has Allah decreed that we are to have stress?
The key to avoid stress is by making ourselves closer to Allah. This doesn’t mean that we fall into problems, but we have to find the solution by pleading to Allah.
As an example, a pair of new and expensive shoes can cause stress if we place them in our heart. If we put the shoes in our feet, not in our heart, there will be no problem if they are suddenly lost. We won’t have any anxiousness by thinking of the shoes all the time.
So, whatever we have, should be placed in where it should be, never in our heart. Any position or degree put in our heart, if it is lost will cause heart feelings or post power syndrome. When we have a lot of money, then it is effecting our heart, if it is gone, it will cause regret and fear of being poor.